Have you ever wondered what your dog is thinking?
22nd June 2009
Have you ever wondered what your dog is thinking? Well, here goes….
Why are there so many rules? These are just some of the things I must remember in order to keep my present living arrangements.
1. The bin man is not stealing our stuff.
2. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
3. I will not roll my toys behind the fridge, behind the sofa, or under the bed.
4. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
5. I will not eat the cats' food, before they eat it, or after they throw it up.
6. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
7. I will not throw up in the car.
8. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc, just because I like the way they smell.
9. I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
10. I will not eat any more Kleenex or napkins and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
11. The nappy bin is not a cookie jar.
12. I will not chew my humans' toothbrushes and not tell them.
13. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging again.
14. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
15. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on television.
16. I will not steal my mom's underwear and dance all over the back garden with them.
17. The sofa is not a face towel; neither are mom or dad's laps.
18. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
19. I will not bite the policeman’s hand when he puts it on the open window/ door.
20. I will not play tug of war with dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
21. I will not roll around in the dirt right after just getting a bath.
22. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
23. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my bottom across the carpet.
24. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, doesn't mean it's cleaner.
25. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company is over.
26. I will remember that suddenly turning around and smelling my bottom can quickly clear a room.
27. The cat is not a squeaky toy so when I play with him, and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
Hope you enjoy reading these - they made me smile :o)
Kisses, Aimee xxx
